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Couple Quick Things:

1. I am still angry about the doc yesterday. I thought I’d be over it by now. I clearly gave myself too much credit.

2. No, I have no idea what’s going on with email subscriptions, bloglines, google reader, or my feed in general. I’ve even tried re-burning the feed all together and that hasn’t fixed the problem either. I’m about read to ditch Blogger all together and just use my defunct WordPress Account instead. Blogger seems like more trouble than its worth – especially as related to privacy, since you can’t password protect things (esp. individual entries) – you can only privatize the entire blog and then you’re limited to 100 readers, which is why I opened my blog back up.

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Schizophrenic

Yes, I’m schizophrenic. Am going invite-only again. If you already had an invite last time around, you still have it, not to worry. If you want one this time around, you’ll have to email me. chezperky at the gmail place

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Back

So here I am. Now under lock and key, sort of. I’m nearly at my 100 reader limit, so I don’t know that I’ll really stick with this lock down for long, but I wanted it for now. Why? Because a friend of mine requested to follow my notaclowncar twitter account. The only place I’ve ever advertised that account is on this blog. So how else could she have found out about that twitter account than by reading this blog? I don’t want her reading this blog, really. There’s not a really good reason I don’t want her reading this blog, but honestly? If she’s reading it, why isn’t she just telling me that she’s reading it? I’m not in a really good place right now, and you know? If she’s reading my blog(s), she knows that, and she’s made no effort to reach out to me in any way. And if she’s not saying anything because she thinks I’d be upset that she’s reading … well, then maybe she should respect my space and not read it.

Anyway. Enough of that.

Here’s the update on me.

Firstly, Wednesday I proved that I am a Real Infertile. I mean, the 5 Clomid Cycles, 6 IUIS, 1 miscarriage, HOMs, 1 failed IVF, and 1 canceled IVF weren’t enough to prove it, right? Nope. But now? Now I’m really part of the Real Infertile club. Because I gave myself a Lupron injection in the car. I had forgotten to take my Lupron in the morning before I left for my appointment, but fortunately, my pharmacy is in the ground floor of the building with Ye Olde Fertility Clinic. So right after my appointment, I refilled my Lupron prescription, sat in my car, drew up the syringe, and stabbed myself with the needle before heading off to work (my office is way closer to my RE than my house is – so it didn’t make sense to go home).

(I will point out that I have previously given myself injections at the Opera, various restaurant bathrooms, at my office, in friends’ houses, and most recently in a Rabbi’s house in the middle of Shabbos dinner – so I’m no stranger to giving myself an injection in odd places. But I hadn’t done the car thing yet. At least not from the driver’s seat.)

So, Wednesday morning I went in for my Lupron Evaluation. This is where things started going wonky in my previous attempt to start IVF#2. At the LE, the RE wants to see the E2 level below 50. Last month, at the LE my E2 level was 98. Double what it should be. I was told to stay on Lupron for a few days and see if it came down. It came down a few points, but not enough, so we kept playing the dance for several appointments, until it became clear that it was time to cancel because I was going to ovulate on my own. Gah.

So this time, I went in for my LE and my E2 was… 89.

Fan. Tastic.

But, SuperDoc wanted to move forward anyway. I have to say, as joyful as I am not to be in an endless loop of canceled cycles? There’s a piece of me that worries that we’re starting this cycle under less than ideal circumstances. Would I have been better off if I’d canceled, gone on the pill for a couple months and started over? I don’t know. But then again, going on the pill for a couple months isn’t really an option for me. One month at a time is one thing, but extended periods of time on BCPs isn’t really an option with my health history. Anyway, my nurse said that after he reviewed everything, he didn’t just resign himself to starting, he wanted to start. He’s the expert, not me. I trust him.

Fortunately, SuperDoc agreed to let me wait until Sunday to come back into the office for monitoring, though normally they would have preferred to see me on Saturday. No doubt next week I’ll have to go in on Wednesday or Thursday, which are the last days of Passover, when I can’t drive, write, use the phone, etc…. but at least I didn’t have to go in on Shabbos.

So, Wednesday night, I started Follistim (166IU) and Luveris (50 units). Now, the thing about the Luveris is that it comes in 75 unit bottles. One vial has the powder, you draw up 1ml of sterile water, add it to the powder and draw that 1ml into the syringe, and voila! you have a 75 unit dose of medicine. In IVF#1, I took 37.5 units of Luveris, so it was easy – I just drew up .5ml and I had my dose. Fifty units is not so easy. I have to draw up .66mls, which I knew courtesy of my pharmacist husband. He rocks. But when I went to do that Wednesday night, I discovered that the syringes I had for the Luveris didn’t have sufficient markings on them to draw up .66 ml. Um, ugh? My husband did his best to draw it up for me. Afterward he asked if I had any insulin syringes because those would have better markings on them to draw up what I needed. The Lupron comes with insulin syringes (plus I have a whole box of insulin syringes leftover from my IUI days when I was using multidose vials of follistim), so I said I’d use those the next day. I hurried up and gave myself the shots and we ran off to our friends’ house for the first Seder.

The next morning, I took my Lupron, but realized later that I was supposed to have dropped the dose to 10 units, but I accidentally stayed at 20 units. Crap. I’ll have to own up to that at some point, won’t I?

Thursday night I drew up the Luveris with insulin syringes, but the Lupron insulin syringes are .5ml syringes, so I had to use 2 syringes to give myself the full dose, plus the Follistim, which was running low on the cartidge, so I had to switch cartridges partway through the dose – for a total of four injections for just two medications. My husband realized that my huge enormous box of insulin syringes upstairs were 1ml syringes, so… problem solved for subsequent evenings. Yeah.

I did remember to drop my Lupron dose the following morning. Good thing. Maybe I’m not such a screwup after all? Bah.

Tomorrow morning (well, I guess it’s really today at this point… golly it’s late!) I go in for more monitoring to see how things are going. I’m not holding my breath.

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going private for a while

Am going to make this a private blog for a while. I’ll explain after I do so. If you want an invite, please email me directly.

chezperky [at] gmail [dot] com

I know it’s a HUGE pain in the neck to deal with checking private blogs. This is why I have an email subscription option on the right sidebar of my blog. Please feel free to use that as an option to receive reminders that I’ve updated my blog. I will be checking the email subscription list to ensure that only people who have permission to read my blog are receiving email updates, so please don’t sign up for email updates without also emailing me for an invite to the blog.

Thanks,
The Management.

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Ch-ch-ch- changes!

So? Do you love it? Do you love my new blog layout? The fabulous Ms. Hilary delivered a lovely new blog layout for me and I love it! I love me some polka dots. (Now if only I’d been able to find myself a nice silhouetted picture of a clown car to have used as a graphic… Oh well!)

Another change I’ve made – I added email subscriptions to the blog. It seems that something gets all screwy with bloglines (and maybe also google reader). And I’m not sure why, so I certainly don’t know how to fix it. Anyway, some people have told me that bloglines/google reader won’t pick up my posts for days or weeks at a time and then suddenly 15 or so will all pop up at once! I know that my google reader feed of this blog seems to stay properly updated, so it doesn’t seem to be everyone, but I’m not sure what to do about it. So if you’re having this problem and you DO want to read the blog more regularly – might I suggest you subscribe via email so you are notified when new posts go up? It should not create extra spam (none of my other blogs create extra spam from the email subscription service – I purposely subscribed to my own blogs to make sure of it), and will only send you one email per day that I update (so even if there are multiple posts in a day, it will put them all together in one email).

So there you have it.

I hope that helps?

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Seriously, people!

Will 9:30 tomorrow never come? And why, oh why, did I not make the 6:45 appointment instead? What was I thinking?? (Oh, wait, that’s right, my husband has to be at work at 0630, so I couldn’t go in at 6:45 regardless… it’s HIS fault!) Yes, I totally get that tomorrow’s vampire draw isn’t going to change anything. But at least it’s something to do.

Bah.

In other news, I need a new blog layout. Seriously. And I’m not creative enough to make one. And I’ve searched for free blogger skins that I could modify and I can’t find any that I love. So I need help.

Help?

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